Rude Solitude

Blood splatters decorate the walls
frames of horror n sorrow decorate da halls
kitchen dirty from da works he couldnt make
fireballs stain da walls
drugs he tried to create
holes in da paneling from when he lost it
turn da knob only tears come out da faucet
bills litter the counters with menace of rent
only one side of da bed messy
the other always vacant
mirror cracked
couldnt handle the image
of a man black
whose eyes turned red from da carnage
fridge is barren
da garbage reeks
nourishment not an option
mind over body for weeks
winds of strife blow in da windows
from da adjacent street
red footprints on acrylic
from skinless feet
follow da crimson brick road
to the wizard of dis anguish
down on his knees
to relay his last wish
cause his stomach is hungry
but his heart is famished!
he sees dat any man
can stand
and take his life into is own hands
but few can take a knee and
surrender control to a bigger man
"God save my soul when my body
gives way. Let my mistakes serve
as signs for those go astray.
I know my parents in heaven,
and be there they should.
But if you decide i ain't worthy
tell them they did all they could."

The man limps to door
as a pretty girl knocks
he peers thru da peephole
n undoes the locks
she stays on the step
she's toured the house before
although she calls him a friend
she ventures in no more
she's looks his adverse
all pretty, no scratches
and a dulce purse
"I see what you been through,
i sympathize i do,
but the only thing that needs change
here is you. You don't have to live here,
it's not as bad as you think. Clean this
place up and put flowers by the sink."
His heart was warmed
but then it turned hot
didn't she know?
you can wash dirt but not rot
"Your concern is admirable
few would still drop in,
but this you cannot fix,
you see, im locked in.
I know why i am here,
thus complaints, i have none.
You were born in a suburb;
I in a slum.
You've had your struggles
assisted by loved ones
while i toil away
motivated by dead ones.
I'd be dead by now
given in to martyrdom
but i refuse to give an inch,
give in, or even barter some."

Then the man realized he
didn't have to hide.
His voiced changed up
and his emotions switched sides.

"YOU CANT TELL THAT THIS PAIN
IS NOT FOUNDED!
YOU CANT TELL ME THAT MY
LIFESTYLE AINT WELL-GROUNDED!
EVERYDAY I WORK HERE
BUT NOT FOR A PROGRESS.
I ONLY GRIND HERE CAUSE
EVERY DAY I HAVE LESS!
I'M ON AN ESCALATOR TO HELL
BUT IM RUNNIN AWAY!
AND IF NIGHT COMES N I AINT BACKSLID,
ITS BEEN A FUCKIN GOOD DAY!
YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY,
YOU CRY WHEN IN PAIN.
BUT I LAUGH WHEN ITS SUNNY,
I LAUGH WHEN IT RAINS.
I LAUGHED WHEN I MOVED HERE
FROM THE COLD OUTSIDE,
I LAUGHED WHEN MY BOY WAS KILLED
AND MY MOMMA HAD DIED.
I LAUGHED WHEN GOD MADE ME A DEAL
DAT WOULD SAVE MY SOUL.
THEN I LAUGHED AT THE DEVIL
CAUSE HE AINT EVEN KNOW.
I LAUGH CAUSE ITS ALL IM GOOD AT ANYMORE
IF I DIDNT I'D'VE BEEN FADED THRU DA FLOOR.
I GUESS TO MASTER SADNESS WOULDA BEEN GRAND
BUT ALL I GOT TO WORK WIT IS DA RAGE IN MY HAND
I RIPPED THE ROSARY OFF NECK
CUZ MATERIALS CANT CONNECT.
BUT EVERY NIGHT I KNEEL
BY THE BED DAT I MADE.
I ASK GOD TO AFFLICT ME
IF REALITY FADES.
SO DAMN IF YOU THINK I BEAR TOO MUCH SORROW,
I DID IT TODAY N IMA DO IT TOMMORAH!"

With that ya boy thanked her
n slammed da door in her face.
yours truly retreated back into my place,
which has very few rooms but so much space.
For the man which i spoke of is none other than I.
But i ask when you finish dis and continue with time,
dont kill me by forgettin the legend of the House of my Mind...